This will be a relatively short post today:

I awoke this morning, rather late, to find that Japan had been hit by a second earthquake. A 7.9 hit before the 8.9 (now revised to 9.1) humdinger last night, and I thought about venturing onto the FOREX, so as to short the Yen (Japan’s currency of choice). I decided not to. I feel better about that decision now. Making money off death and destruction is the business of hedge funds, not mine. But, enough about moral quandaries…on to the subject at hand.

Japan has an interesting relationship with the United States. 70 years ago, we dropped the A-bomb on them, and ended our war with the Axis powers (the original ‘Axis of Evil’, consisting of Germany, Japan, and Italy). We helped them rebuild. In return for our investment, we received reliable cars, better technologies, and white cats in dresses, emblazoned on every consumer good you can think of.

They also invested in us, or rather, served as surety for our debts. While China is the second greatest holder of US debt (the Fed is first), Japan comes in a close 3rd. This is where a possible problem arises.

Let’s say you are a typical household. You have some cash in the bank, your home, and a large portion of it in stock. For reasons unknown, your home is uninsured, and burns to the ground.

What happens to the stock? Well, you could go live in a cardboard box, and allow the stock to appreciate. More than likely, you are going to dump the stock, and get some cash to rebuild, especially if you have a wife to take care of. Do you really care if GM tanks after you liquidate your position? Not really. You care about keeping your marriage intact, and rebuilding your life.

Japan’s house just burnt down. They are an indebted nation, as well. Guess what they hold? Our long term Treasury debt. Does Japan need to rebuild in 30 years? Nope. They need to rebuild now. What is the most logical option? Dump the US debt you hold for cash, and get on with it.

This comes at a particularly bad time for the US, on the debt side, as just days before, PIMCO exited their position in US Treasuries, for cash. What does this mean? Very bad things. PIMCO was one of the last major holders of US Treasury debt domestically. Will China step in and buy the debt Japan is selling, or will the Fed go in and buy it, pushing inflation that much higher?

Japan doesn’t just hold US debt, they also hold European debt…strugglin’ doesn’t even come close to describing the European Union’s current woes. This earthquake threatens to create more than physical aftershocks, and I fully expect this to be a tipping point in the debt markets

What seems to have been ignored in all the talk of possible nuclear meltdown, is the destruction of farms within the nation. Japan is a small nation, and has relatively little land to spare for agrarian purposes. This made the land that was used for this purpose very valuable.

Japan will be more dependent on imported food now…not to mention oil, as at least one oil refinery caught fire in the mayhem. The worldwide commodity system has been brittle lately. As we have seen with Libya, it only takes a small, rather insignificant country in the grand scheme of things to upset the economic applecart.

You will notice that I called these the “non-humanitarian” reasons we should care. I would add that these factors are humanitarian in nature, at least when it comes to the rest of the world. A major challenge with a global economy, is the fact that all supply chains are interconnected.

Japan’s problems are not limited to Japan. They have a measurable effect on the rest of the world. A sarcastic, rhetorical question that used to be asked was “What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?”. These days, it’s not hard to draw inferences.

The next few months will be difficult for Japan, and the rest of the world. My thoughts and prayers go out to those who were injured, the families who died, and the many whose lives will never be the same.

Signing off…

Christianity has more detractors lately than friends. I sadly find myself among the critics.

Both friends outside, within, and without the Church at large seem to know there is a problem. There is a famine in the land, and it evidently is one of  iPods, catchy slogans, and clips of Disney movies during sermons.

The basic problem with modern Christianity, is that it has become a self-centered, sadomasochistic something.  I fault no one but pastors who have preached a message that they call a “holiness” message, which is mainly concerned with showing how great you are, and how messed up everyone else is. Well, the pastors, and the congregants who beg for the preacher to “step on their toes” every week.

You become like the gym rat we all have met, whose eating, social, and sleeping schedule is all organized around body building. Eventually, they become so entranced by their own image (and the upkeep thereof) that things like relationships, education, and even relaxation are forced to fit in a used container of whey protein powder.

The image becomes the idol…

How do I know this? I’m an ex-bodybuilder, in the moral sense. I had the image down pat. For while there, I was “working out” for my health, and the enjoyment of it all. That changed, around the age of 14, when people began noticing  my “spiritual six pack”. Now, all my work in this area was pretty much done to maintain the image. Pride changed my motives, and the way I viewed others around me.

I was disgusted with myself and others, but mostly with God, for being such a slavedriver. I thought he had asked me to set up and maintain the image. He had done no such thing. I had erected a monument to myself, consisting of my own morality, and appointed myself the person most qualified to judge the thoughts and actions of others.

Once you’re in this camp, the only friends you will have are those who meet your standards. You’ll spend time humbly showing them the very few flaws in the great monument of your superiority, and they in turn, will do likewise. You will spend countless weekdays judging others for listening to secular music, having a pint of beer, going to R-rated movies, and counting the cuss words during the PG feature that your arbitrarily applied convictions forced you to attend instead.

The sole solace you will find in this stance, is that while you are miserable, you are somehow more holy. Somehow the irony of wishing for (shall we call it…coveting) their ability to break the rules you set up, has left you untouched.

And You Call Yourself A Christian…

Around the age of 22, I discovered the concept of the grace of God. You would think that this concept would have taken root earlier, especially since I had known the Lord from a young age. It wasn’t like people hadn’t tried to convey the idea. It’s just that many well-meaning adults explained that these people were wrong.

In these same communities, there was something called “Being a bad witness”. The idea was, that you generally had to be perfect before admitting that you were a Christian, because if you happened to screw up in front of people, you could forever turn them off to Jesus. Thus, their eternal damnation would be on your head, because you couldn’t hold it together in public.

Let me denounce that line of thinking as a lie from the pit, and on a lesser scale, a complete failure in logic.

This, if taken in reverse, means that someone would have to constantly be sinning, without a letup in the action, in order for them to be a proper sinner. I can assure you, that doesn’t happen, even in the worst possible cases.

So, in order to be a witness who displays God’s grace, it would follow that you don’t have to perfect. In fact, weakness is a strength, if you believe the Apostle Paul at all.

I am not ashamed of the Gospel, anymore…

Many times, in my earlier years, I failed to share the gospel, or even own up to the fact that I was a Christian, based on keeping the image intact. To my great displeasure, the very people who I thought shouldn’t be sharing the gospel at all, were the ones who were the most vocal.

The people who occasionally got wasted, and began witnessing to people really bugged me. I mean, they showed a lack of self control, engaged in excess, etc. While I don’t think getting sloppy drunk is a good idea, I never bothered to consider what would have come up from the depths of my heart, had I found myself in the same situation. It would not have been pretty, at 15,21, and to be quite frank, now. The veneer was pretty, but there was some junk beneath the surface that would have found itself unbound, and free to roam around.

My behavior is not, on the whole(and truthfully, even in part) perfect. My perfection has nothing to do with the truth that Jesus died for the sins of the world. In fact, no sinner’s behavior changes the truth, or validity of that fact. Since the gospel has nothing to do with preserving my image, why should I let that hold me or anyone else back?

The truth is, people don’t need someone’s perfect behavior to show them that they messed up. Their conscience  already kicked in to alert them of the infraction.

Why then, do many Christians feel the need to compare themselves to the person who just screwed up, or better yet, inform the other person of this fact?

Self-Satisfied Smuggery…

Instead of comparing ourselves to Jesus, and his perfection, we are in the process of comparing our morality with that of another human being. “I’m less flawed.” is not exactly resume material, when you think about it.

Unbelievers could care less about our theological arguments, our opinions on evolution, abortion, or the free markets. That doesn’t matter. In our day, we seem to lack the ability to love, listen, and empathize with people.

When Jesus struck up a conversation with the woman at the well, he did so knowing that she had a reputation. She was racially rejected, morally inferior, and widely despised. You wouldn’t have expected a leper to talk to this woman, let alone the Son of God. Even when he asked pointed questions of her, not once did he pass judgment.

In the moment of judging the behavior of unbeliever (and believer alike), we exclaim “I will be like the Most High”, and attempt to exalt our judgment as equal to His.

There is one judgment, and one alone that we are qualified to make, and that is one of self-examination. Only two options are available: We are either Christ’s, or we are not. Beyond that, our minds lie, our hearts dissemble, and our consciences deceive.

The One Regret of Jesus…

Recently, I watched a documentary called “The Kings of Pastry“. Essentially, it follows some of the best pastry chefs in the world, as they compete to be good enough to receive “the collar”. It is the highest award in the craft. All of the competitors can win, if they are good enough. It’s a pass/fail ordeal. The unique thing in this competition, is that the judges are all former contestants, and often are the coaches of those competing.

It won’t hold you spellbound for 2 hours, unless you really are a die-hard cook. However, there is one scene that drives a dagger through my heart. At the end of the movie, the Chief Judge is about to announce the winners, and by omission, the losers.

He begins to call the names of the winners. Sadly, it’s a short list.

Then, he does something I have never seen a judge do in any competition: He begins to cry.

Not just little drops that slowly trickle out the corners of his eyes. No. He bawls, barely controlling his sobs for those who did not receive the honor.

So, I believe, at the time of judgment, when the Father and the Son have to condemn those who have rejected Jesus to eternal torment. As Christians, we have done a poor job of relaying that God is not glib or indifferent about sending people to Hell. That thought causes him great sorrow, and regret.

Since God is indifferent about it, why should an unbeliever care about hell. If it’s an arbitrary act from a God who is indifferent, why should a sinner not be ambivalent about ending up there.

The Contestant…

The good news is that the Chief Judge became a contestant. Our ability to be judged flawless, and worthy of the honor, is based on something he completed already. That is the essence of Christianity. Not, as one translation puts it “the measuring of your own moral muscle.

It’s not about me, good or bad. It’s about the work of Christ, and anyone who will believe on what He did.

To refer to the backwards paraphrase of Romans 1:16-17, that serves as the title of this post:

For I am not ashamed of the Good News. It is God’s power which is at work for the salvation of every one who believes–the Jew first, and then the Gentile. For in the Good News a righteousness which comes from God is being revealed, depending on faith and tending to produce faith; as the Scripture has it, “The righteous man shall live by faith.”

Anything else is noise, distortion, and flexing in front of a fun house mirror.

Given the last post, and the massive amounts of information I covered, along with opinion offered, I thought it might be a good idea to map out a few experiences that shaped my current lines of thought. Yes, it’s all a bit self-indulgent, but it does end with a few suggestions that might be interesting to consider.

So without further adieu, check out how my views on the economy were formed.

The Wealth Effect

I came to my current conclusions about the state of the future economy nearly 3.5 years ago. My former industry was in the midst of a raging bull market that was supposed to last until 2017. It was a sure thing, and I would have retired a millionaire (and my bosses would have been far richer than that), had the worldwide housing/real estate bubble not collapsed.

I was the guy who gave one little company a worldwide profile. In addition to my SEO/Web Development duties, I wrote a  weekly blog that gained some nice attention from industry trade magazines, and some broader exposure in certain instances. That blog now exists in a file, and in the Internet Archive’s Wayback Machine.

Am I proud of that? Yes. I’m deeply happy with both the quality of work I did, and of the things I was able to accomplish. However, pride comes before a fall. The financial crisis didn’t hit our core business until July of 2008, nearly a year after the first scare in the financial markets. To say the bubble burst would be an understatement. I kept writing, effectively journaling and examining crises, even as the business began to tank.

There was blame all around, as supply completely surpassed demand in what seemed like minutes. Much of that fallout came from the declining construction market in Dubai. I heard reports from people on the ground in Dubai. Entire fleets of construction equipment were idle. We would ship between 4-6 40′ containers, stuffed floor-to-ceiling with crane tires to a single customer, every other month.

The amount of business we did directly with Dubai, or with dealers who sold to Dubai was staggering. Equally incredible was the amount of business we did with Mexico, South America, South Africa, and Australia. Come to think of it, we did really  good business in Russia, and Eastern Europe as well. Surprise heavy equipment haven: Belgium.

Where Did It All Go Wrong?

I’m fairly analytical, so when things go wrong, I am hardwired to seek out causality. So, I did. Bottom line, easy credit caused construction booms and industrial expansion, worldwide. This caused demand for iron, precious metals like silver (the best electrical conductor, period.) and copper. Dubai and the domestic construction markets collapsed almost simultaneously.

This freed up industrial metals, as demand collapsed quickly and stockpiles increased rapidly. Mines, especially massive conglomerates, cut workers worldwide. In the case of mining giant Rio Tinto, it meant 14,000+ workers were declared “redundant”, in a single day.

As our market worsened, I firmly believed that precious metals would rise, due to the instability of the markets. Unfortunately, I also believed demand for these metals would be able to fully support a recovery. It turns out that industrial metals prop up the mining industry worldwide. Business kept declining, even as precious metals began their rise.

Eventually, the blog became about exposing corruption within the industry, International trade law, and even a post or two about the environmental impacts of mountaintop removal mining. Good times.

Remind Me Why I Should Care…

Well, first off, I’ve spared you all the bitter parts of my experience up to this point. Consider yourself lucky. Next, I was right about precious metals, and a few other things I won’t bore you with.

The whole point of this, and the financial collapses of the past 12 years, is that the truly bad events are the ones you don’t see coming. There were people who predicted these events for months. I can predict what I do see coming, based on household fundamentals. If your total debt payments exceeded your salary for the year, it would be a very great problem. This problem is extremely dangerous when the economy you are speaking of is the USA.

Even if we keep other factors neutral (like China, Qaddafi lighting oil wells on fire, Iran.), we still have a problem.  I don’t believe in the stock market, or Ben Bernanke’s claims that he has inflation under control.

Many people think I am worried about the future. I’m not worried about the future, I’m just waiting on the inevitable. Whether it means the economy manages to survive for the next few years, or it means a collapse in the next 6 months, I’m not super worried. Don’t get me wrong, it’s serious. I just have no control over when these things happen, or the severity.

If the last few years have proved anything, it’s that God is faithful, and I’ll survive.

Got Plans?

So, what do I suggest you do, given current conditions?

1.) Will it float…err..keep?

Stick to the basics. Buy some food. It will save you money in the future. When you do, make sure it’s not perishable in the short term. Cans of veggies, flour, and tuna fish are all pretty good options. Sardines also work. Just make sure you have the Scope sitting on ready. Think of it as investing, rather than just grocery shopping.

2.) Buy some silver.

The stuff is still cheap at $33 an ounce. Plus, if you drop a piece somewhere and lose it, it won’t upset you as much as dropping an ounce of gold. It will appreciate in value over the next few years, unlike the money in your pocket.

3.) Pray.

Not really optional. As I quickly found out, this is the most important step before and after any unforeseen event smacks you in the head.

Proper Planning Prevents…Nothing, Actually.

There’s nothing preventing a giant meteor from falling out of the sky and crushing Beijing, tomorrow. Some scientist may save us all from an energy crisis, and invent an environmentally friendly fuel that is dirt cheap to produce. I could find a ticket for a lottery that I didn’t enter, and retire with millions of dollars.

It all theoretically could happen. The odds are against any of these happening, which is why I have basic, flexible plans in place.

Like I said, this all kind of self-serving, because I like being right about things. This blog allows an objective measure as to whether I was right or wrong on a particular issue. That’s kind of important to me, as are the people reading this.

Next time, I’ll try to write something unrelated to the economy, and a little less “me-focused”. Until then, I’ll be…

Signing off…

Ladies and gentlemen,

Strange things are brewing, both at home and abroad.  I consider it my general job to run around the internet, evaluating what could objectively called news, rumor, fallacy, or conspiracy. As of late, the conspiracies are merging with news, on a daily basis, as are fallacies.

Buy and Hold…

They say that the greatest thing the devil ever accomplished was convincing people that he didn’t exist. That may be true. The second greatest thing he ever did was sell people on the idea that the market always goes up over time. Does it really? I suppose that is correct, if you keep those numbers independent of inflation.

I thought I knew a little something about finance before I started attending more advanced classes. Determining profit or loss didn’t seem that difficult of a thing, until I started learning about Yield to Maturity formulas, and the true value of everything based upon an equation. Deep Thought put the answer to life, the universe, and everything at 42. My guess is, he used a formula derived from WACC.

My ideas are mainly theoretical. As of yet, they have not fully formed the algorithm that describes the behavior of others in a massive panic.  While there will always be the boys who understand technical chart movements, I prefer to understand human beings, at least here in the States, along with the change of trends around the world.

For instance, the traditional investment books categorize me as a “speculator”. Really? The argument could be made that you are, too. All investing is speculation, depending on what you define as risk. Evidently, the fact that I am pro-precious metals makes me a speculator. And you may be saying “Not another gold bug.” To which I reply, “Gold is ok. Silver is where things are moving.”

Did that Cat just Walk by Twice?

What brings me into this state of despondent “speculation”? History repeating itself. Evidently, our politicians, central bankers, and business leaders have called a press conference, and declared that fundamental laws of economics don’t apply to the USA. Then again, I find that most of the so-called leaders are advised by economists  who are just pulling random levers, and hoping something works.

That’s the state of the economy: Our gas tank fell off a few miles back, and the administration thinks the alternator is broken. Instead of attaching a new fuel tank and filling it with petrol(gotta love the British), they have decided that it would be better if several weak men pushed us over the next hill, so the battery will charge (incidentally, this is not how batteries are charged). This, they call recovery.

Guess-timation and Tyranny.

Speaking of fuel, our dear friends the Saudis broke their calculator. It seems that they have 40% less fuel than they originally estimated. Dear George and George II, I am so glad we protected your buddies’ businesses. You told us you did it because you believed in Democracy, because at least one of you believed in Jesus. We didn’t question that. Using some logic would have been a good idea.

While we’re on the subject of democracy, allow me to thoroughly decry the recent ousting of Hosni Mubarak. What? Yup. If the Middle East has proven anything to us over the past few years, it’s that democracy is no better than a dictatorship, in many instances. There is such a thing as a benevolent dictator. The Shah was one such benevolent dictator. He used to rule Iran, before Ayatollah Khomeini and Achmadenijad became the Supreme Leaders in charge of the glorious Iranian revolution.

Saddam was reasonably benevolent, as well. Was he awful?  Yes. Better one Saddam who thinks he is god/Nebuchadnezzar reincarnate, than a bunch of other people who think that god wants them to kill all the Jews/Christians. The people who welcomed us as liberators eventually remembered that we were the Great Satan. It’s funny how things work out.

We Have Always Been at War With Eastasia…

Allow me to refresh your memories on who America has been for, before we were against them: Ayatollah Khomeini, the Mujahadeen, Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein…yeah, my favorite picture is the one where Donald Rumsfeld is giving him the golden spurs. Who sent Saddam the golden spurs? Ronaldus Magnus. Put that in your elephant-shaped pipe and smoke it. You can’t be good at everything, and that move was proof positive.

(Also, as a recent class reminded me, we were allied with Stalin in WWII, who killed far more people than Hitler ever did. That Stalin was a genius at Reputation Management.) Oh, and we interned a bunch of innocent, Japanese-Americans here in the States, for no apparent reason. Gives a whole new meaning to “American Exceptionalism”.

At any rate, recent developments in Egypt are bad news for the world, because Mubarak signed and enforced the Camp David accords. This is the deal that has let Israel live in relative peace for a number of years now. Not so much now, as the people want out of the accords. They also want Islamic banking, civil, and criminal law enacted. Oh, and they aren’t so hostile to Iran, who has said this revolution is like their revolution. The people whose liberation we cheered, will be the people we have our guns trained on tomorrow. Anybody want to give the hands on the Doomsday Clock a nudge toward midnight?

Walk Like An Egyptian…

While Egypt has received most of the buzz over the past few weeks, it would be intelligent to note that they ain’t the only ones in a stir. Tunisia, Yemen, Syria, and Jordan all are hosting civil uprisings( I mean, peaceful, democratic protests) of late. Jordanians have been taking pot shots at the Queen, which isn’t very good form in a country where criticizing your government can get you 3 years in prison. Islamist websites are spreading rumors that Saudi Arabia’s King Abdullah had a heart attack while arguing with Obama about Egypt.  Not exactly great timing, if that turns out to be the case.

Why are all these revolutions taking place? No jobs. High food costs. Women working side-by-side with men in the workplace. Thieves with both hands intact. Frustration with governments that are friendly with Israel. By friendly, I mean that these governments haven’t killed all the Jews.

Congratulations. A massive Middle-East war, and diminished women’s rights are going to be the end of this “Democratic Transition”. Keep on cheering, Fox News commentator. It’s going to have worldwide implications, and all because you equated this uprising with Tianamen Square. Yay for being uninformed about the world around you.

Goldman Sachs, Loots, and Pillages…

You’ll notice I mentioned food costs…While a $1 uptick on a bushel of corn might hurt your feelings, in the rest of the world, it’s the equivalent of  $15 a gallon gas. While part of the increase is due to really harsh weather events, much of it is due to major investment firms holding more “lots” in the commodities markets than they should legally be able to.

It seems Goldman Sachs managed to find a way around the Commodities Exchange Act of 1936, and drive prices upward through what amounts to commodities hoarding . Many people have explained this in great, complex detail, but no one does it better than Matt Taibbi in his informative, intelligent, and wholly profane book: Griftopia. (See the chapter entitled “Blowout” for enlightenment.)

To summarize, sans some very accurate usages of profanity: The basic idea is that the commodities exchanges for things like corn, rice, wheat and beans were set up so that farmers could find buyers for their crops, and lock in a price. When the farmer brought the good to market, the investor made a fair profit(or didn’t) by selling the crude commodity to butchers, bakers, and candlestick makers. It was never supposed to be a “buy and hold market”. Even if someone did want to buy and hold, there were things called “position limits” which kept them from manipulating the market.

Goldman received an exemption from position limits, and is now allowed unlimited freedom to  speculate on these staples of survival, with few considerations other than the profit motive. I needn’t tell you that this kind of behavior affects people worldwide. People have to eat, and when the government can’t get the stuff to make bread for a fair price, naturally the people decide it is time for a change in the government.

Meanwhile, Goldman walks away with profits, bonuses, bailouts, and exemptions from fraudulent behavior, while somebody’s kid in Northern Africa starves, or is accidentally killed during a “peaceful protest”.

So I’m the Speculator…A Sunday School Lesson

I’m not a speculator. I’m a steward.

When I see people doing dumb, crazy, or revolutionary things, it naturally puts me on defense. The Butterfly Effect is not just a really weird movie starring Ashton Kutcher. If a butterfly may change the path of a storm system, how much more the movement of nations, natural disasters, and illicit activities in markets.

People will remind me that God is in control. That he is. The question I would ask, is this “What was Joseph supposed to do with Pharoah’s Dream?” Is Joseph free of responsibility, just because God is in control?

For those of you who remember the early days of Sunday School/VBS/TBS’ movie of the week…and for the patently irreligious, I’m going to refresh you on the story of Joseph.

1 minute catchup: His brothers threw him in a well, because they were jealous of him. He’s sold into slavery, becomes the head of the Household. He gets thrown into prison over a trumped-up rape charge. He becomes the most powerful prisoner in the prison. Two of Pharoah’s servants get thrown in the slammer. Joseph interprets their dreams, and accurately predicts their fates.

Couple years later, Pharoah has 2 dreams that really disturb him. One of the fellows remembers that Joseph interpreted his dream, accurately. So Joseph is called before Pharaoh. The dreams are 1.) 7 massively fattened cows come up out of the Nile. Then seven cows that are mean and skinny (think British models) come out of the river, and devour the fat cows…bones and all. 2.) Seven really nice looking heads of grain pop up. Then, seven really withered blighted heads of grain come up, and eat those other stalks of grain, stalks and all.

Joseph interprets the dreams as 7 years where the (metaphorical) market is on fire. Then, there are 7 years that come after that completely obliterate the gains. It’s going to affect the whole earth, says Joseph. <end catchup>

The question as I stated earlier, is what is Joseph supposed to do? God is in control. God evidently told Joseph the meaning of the dream. So what is Joseph’s response? It’s pretty socialistic. Joseph tells Pharaoh to gather 1/5 of all the crops of the land, during the good years, and put them in storehouses. Pharoah makes him second in command, and Joseph heads up the effort. There was so much corn, it couldn’t be counted.

Ever Read This Part of the Story?

Then, the famine hit, and everybody comes to Joseph for food. Now, while there’s quite a bit of family drama that takes place, nobody ever seems to read Genesis 47. The land of Egypt runs out of corn/bread. In that chapter, we see the first evidence of hyperinflation. The Bible explains it this way “The money failed.”  So, Joseph takes all the money they have to give him. No money is left in the land.

Then what happens? The Egyptians give their cattle in exchange for food. The Egyptian government owns all the cattle. What next? They run out of cattle, so they give the State all their land. Then, Joseph gave them seed for their land, and the Egyptian government became legally entitled to a 20% tax on the fields, forever.

Essentially, the State became owner of all. Joseph was a benevolent, and kind regent/dictator. The problems began when “There arose a Pharaoh who knew not Joseph.”

The Lean Years…

There is some intelligence, I believe in understanding that God doesn’t always give future mummies visions in the middle of the night. Sometimes he teaches us using history, other times he references places and events in the Bible that haven’t occurred yet. Yes, I believe the Bible predicts future events, which sometimes have a dual fulfillment.(I say you’re hypocritical if you make fun of this, and still know your astrological sign.)

America, and indeed the world, finds itself in a place that they think will get better. I believe it will be far worse. Any objective observer of events political, natural, and virtual should come to this conclusion, if they give it any thought. The land is about to run out of bread again, and my guess is that people will be giving up things they never imagined to maintain much more modest lifestyles.

Here in America, we have given up freedoms. There are days coming when people will give up land, goods, and their profound love for the US Dollar, the god in whom they indeed trust. In short, the money will fail.

The operating question becomes “Where will you stand?” Will you be wiped out when markets crash, and prices rise? If you think that is God’s will, alright. Perhaps it is. All things are in His hands. The question is one of stewardship. The implication that the Bible gives us is that Joseph was a wonderful steward, regardless of his position.

Do we lack that responsibility? I think not.  Will God provide? Yes. Will you go through things that could have been avoided, given a little wisdom and foresight? Only God knows.

Like most people, I’m fairly good at ranting about things I can’t stand. I take it for granted that people know what I like, and why I think they should visit/purchase/view those things.

It’s time to categorize some places you probably should go/places you should be aware of…so here it is..the Hot List. Not because I like it, but because you will benefit from it, or better yet, save money.

Best Place to buy things of an electronic nature: NewEgg

NewEgg sells everything from cameras to stereo systems. It’s also my go-to for all things tech. Whether I’m buying RAM for a computer, or dropping cash on  speakers, this is the first place I visit. Could I save 5 0r 10 bucks by shopping elsewhere? Yes, but NewEgg consistently has the best combination of service and price of any place on the web. That includes Amazon.

Best Site for last minute cooking: Yummly

Have a can of olives, some chicken broth, and dehydrated cream of mushroom soup? Yummly can find a recipe for you. In the mood for a certain taste sensation, say…spicy? Yummly can find that too. What about nutritional information? Done. Yummly kicks out a detailed nutritional survey based on the ingredients in your recipe. It searches all the other recipe sites, so you don’t have to.

Top Purveyors of a Certain Bean: Coffeefool

I fell in love with Coffeefool roughly 3 years ago. It’s the best Google Ad I have ever clicked on. If Gevalia is all the hype your money can buy, Coffeefool is the real deal. Their coffee does something to me I can’t describe…like pull me through my day by my toenails. I mean that in a good way. It awakens parts of your brain you forgot existed.  I can only speak for their Kenya AA, or Costa Rican Tarrazu…ummmm…hmmmmmm.  It’s not quite as cheap as your local supermarket blend, but it’s worth the premium. Plus, on Friday, if they roasted too many of a certain variety of bean, they give you 20% off.

I can promise you, they don’t do that at Lowes Foods.

Best Item of Formerly Detested Clothing: Charles Tyrwhitt

My chosen profession means that I have to wear dress clothes for the rest of my life. The worst part about dress clothes is generally “the dress shirt”. They look nice, but are hateful to wear and iron. Now, I heard there are dress clothes that feel nice, and also look pretty classy. Unfortunately, they were rumored to be a bit above my pay grade.

After looking through some reviews, I settled on the Charles Tyrwhitt brand of shirts (in this same class, you also have names like TM Lewin and Thomas Pink, all British). What I could not deal with was the price. They retail for ~$130 apiece, but realistically sell for $60-90 at market. Still too pricey. So I went to Ebay, and got several new for less than the price of one. Worth. It.

If the job/wedding/date/interview/funeral you are attending dictates that you  wear a dress shirt, you need at least one of these. Plus, unlike American dress shirts, they don’t have that annoying, raised fabric panel down the back.

The Most Incredible Search Engine You’re Not Using: DuckDuckGo

I first heard about this little baby as the result of an ad on Reddit. No, DuckDuckGo doesn’t flow off the tongue like Google. In all fairness, neither did Google, the first time you heard about it. What’s the best thing about DDG? They don’t track your browsing habits like Google, Bing, or Yahoo. They don’t use that information, and sell it to advertisers.

One of the more important things they do is grab results from information engines like WolframAlpha. Need to now what the population of Zaire is? DDG returns that in your search results. Have to know who wrote those song lyrics? It’ll grab them, and place them right at the top of the page.

The best part: The search results are demonstrably better. Try it, you might like it. If you don’t, nobody’s keeping you from Google.

Best Netflix Related Site: Instantwatcher.com

The double-edged sword of having unlimited streaming movies from Netflix, is the difficulty it takes to find a good movie. Even Netflix’s suggestion engine is highly inaccurate. Most of the movies they suggest are movies I don’t like. That’s where Instantwatcher comes in: I can sort those movies by release date. IW keeps a scrolling list of the top 50 movies on Netflix, so I know what other people are watching. They even let me sort by Rotten Tomatoes or NYT Critics list suggestions.

Best of all, I don’t even have to visit Netflix’s site to add something to my queue. It’s a beautiful thing.

###

Surprisingly, there are other places/things I like…so there may be another list in future. If you see one I obviously missed, drop me a line in the comments.

Dear Facebook friends/acquaintances…

Over the past year, I have noticed multiple statuses  that say cryptic things and are aimed at someone. I am just not smart enough to figure out who:

e.g.

Don’t you hate it when some people throw eggs at other people? I hate egg throwers, and wish they would die a slow, painful death.

First off, let me say that I am confused. You have given me insufficient information to make a decision. Who were the eggs thrown at? Are the eggs literal, or metaphors for hateful words drawn in the shape of eggs? Can the eggs in question be made into a sufficiently palatable omelette?

Add a little ham, a little cheese, it'll be fine.

The next thought that naturally runs through my head is “Have I ever thrown eggs?”. Why yes, yes I have. I threw some rotten ones at a stand of trees last week. Surely, that can’t be what you are referring to? Or is it? You have succeeded in making me paranoid, and distracted me from the otherwise deep thoughts I would have posted on Facebook.

Therein lies the problem. You can’t just go around saying “I spy someone who has made me particularly angry this year, and is the world’s most horrible excuse for a carbon based life form”. You have to say “Bob Marsden, you suck.” It’s very simple, really. By using a proper noun at the beginning of the sentence, much clarity is achieved: We all know that the person who sucks is Bob Marsden.

If Bob feels he does not suck, well…he needs to take that up with you. This leaves the rest of us free to go watch something on YouTube,  while you and Bob hash things out. If there are others that feel a need to take sides in the conflict between you and Bob, they can do that. You’ll find me watching a tutorial on “How to do the robot”. The key: Practice your dime stops.

When we use actual names rather than broad categories, it narrows down the list of offenders by at least several hundred names.

For instance, if I wanted to take out a restraining order against Mr. Klauschwitz, it wouldn’t do me any good to take out one on all the citizens of Couer d’ Alene, Idaho. Why? Because Klauschwitz lives in Durham, NC.

Also, if you have had/are having relationship problems, please take that out with the angry little lady over email, text, or heaven forbid, in the confines of the food court at your nearest mall. We’re not umpires. We just came here to see cute baby photos, watch funny videos, and repost a chain email once in awhile.

If you need validation that what you did was right/what the other chap did was wrong, have a personal conversation with me about it. If I am not available, call me. If that fails (and it probably will, because I keep my phone on silent, constantly), then send me an email.

You may or may not be validated, and in that case you are free to state “Hey, my name here, thanks for being a lousy friend. Why do you think I am wrong?”. During that time, we will have a real conversation, and I will tell you why you are in great error, and should beg for the other person’s most sincere forgiveness.

Ladies and Gentleman, Mr. Bob Marsden.

Finally, and most importantly, when you say “Bob Marsden sucks.”, tell us why. We need a little context here. If he killed your pet rabbit, we need to know that. If you ran over his dog, before he killed your rabbit, we’d like to know that, too.

Context is everything, and if you’re going to regurgitate your hurt feelings in front of the world for comment, at least let us know what happened. Don’t make us drag this stuff out of you.

As a final point, this kind of behavior is uncalled for. You’re better than this. Start acting like it. If you have a problem with someone, anyone…have the courage to say so. It’s fine if it’s not all sweetness and light between you and another human being. Really. Civilization has survived minor(and major) disagreements for thousands of years.

Say what you need to say, direct it at the proper individual, and be done with it.

It’s cold outside, and the mercury in my soon-to-be government mandated, fluorescent bulbs is contracting as I speak.

As nasty as the Winter has been here on the East Coast, it has nothing on the chilling storm front that is brewing on the doorstep of personal freedom.

It’s a Unicorn, Holding a Bazooka…

Before the shells cooled on the Tucson pavement, Conservatives and Liberals began to take aim at each other. To hear the media talk, Jared Loughner is either a Communist, Rush Limbaugh’s best friend, or an operative of the Tea Party. Some hypersensitive genius over at CNN had the time to write a dumb, speculative piece that basically asked “What if Jared Loughner was a Muslim?”.

The fact is, he wasn’t even close to having a religion. Loughner was an atheist who dabbled in the occult. He may not have believed in a God, but he wasn’t beyond the hope that someone was listening.

I..I don't see it.

His reading list included Mein Kampf, Marxist literature, Orwell, and Ayn Rand. He believed pretty much every conspiracy theory ever devised. He didn’t listen to the radio or watch the news.

In short, Jared Loughner was ardently seeking something: meaning, fame, a girlfriend. During his quest, he opened his mind to a range of philosophies that are in stark opposition to each other.

Loughner is a Rorschach test: You’ll see whatever you want to see.

For the Limbaughs of the world, he assumes the outline of a crazy Leftist, determined to prove that George Bush was behind 9/11. To Liberals, he’s the poster child for unbridled, right-wing hate speech, and the end result of all intolerance.

You have to see this event for what it is: A massive game of political chess.  It’s not about the 12 people who died, or Congresswoman Giffords, at all. The victims in this situation are an afterthought. It’s about pushing your agenda, irrespective of political party, and ultimately ceding the rights of the many, because of the tragedy of a few.

And it is a tragedy. It’s a tragedy that crazy, misguided people do horrible things, of their own volition. That’s what this is: An insane person doing the unthinkable. Guns don’t fire themselves, and nobody held a gun to Jared Loughner and told him to pull the trigger.

He’s the person responsible for what he did. No one, and nothing else…unless you’re pushing an agenda. What, pray tell, might that agenda be?

The Right to Hunt

From the moment I read about the shooting, I knew where the debate would go next: Guns.

The first article I read mentioned that the ammo clip Crazy-Baldy used was not a standard, 9mm Glock clip, but one that allowed extra capacity for ammo. Sure enough, Arizona and other states have renewed the fight to ban high-capacity magazines, and there is an accelerated push for Federal gun control.

Permits now available at Staples.

Most likely, there will be a mental competency test for handgun ownership in some version of the bill. The last time I checked, there was no such restriction placed in the 2nd Amendment, which is not, as some have framed it, “The Right to Hunt”. It’s “The Right to Bear Arms”, irrespective of the weapon’s ultimate purpose.

If You Can’t Say Something Nice, Send a Transcript…

The biggest thing to come out of this whole debate is the perennial idea that we should resurrect the “Fairness Doctrine“, a vile assault on the 1st Amendment.

One of the provisions of the Doctrine-and I am not kidding about this-says that if you  make unfavorable remarks about someone on the radio, you have to send them a transcript of the program in which you made the remarks, and allow them equal time to respond, on your program.

Recently, there have been even more flawed suggestions that this apply to broadcast and cable television, as well. Really? So is it a stretch to say this kind of legislation would lead to the regulation of the internet. Maybe a blogger’s license to use my keyboard? Will they censor my use of “refudiate”?

People who know me well, understand that I am no fan of Sarah Palin. However, the idea that a political campaign graphic “targeting” different districts, is fomenting violence is disingenuous. They were rolling out the  age old “hate speech” charges, and there wasn’t even any hate, just disagreement.

Cajun. Awesome. Snakeface.

If the Palin graphic is hate speech, then James Carville, along with every other political strategist should be locked up for attempted murder.

I love ‘ole Snakeface, and I want him to be able to give interviews without the supervision of a correctional facilitator.

There is no right not to be offended, as I have to point out to many Christians who want everything censored. The price you pay for living in a society with free speech, and free discourse, is that other people get to say what they want to, as well.

Free speech is the right of everyone, and if you don’t like it, you have the right to say so, but not to silence it. Remember, that knife cuts both ways.

Now Panic, and Freak Out!

Lastly, we come to salvia. That’s all we heard in the media: Salvia, salvia, salvia. Loughner was using sooo much more…including, but not limited to: LSD, shrooms, weed, and various other hallucinogenic pharmaceuticals.

It’s salvia that gets all the ink (digital, or otherwise.) Why? Because Achy-Breaky’s kid took a bong hit of the stuff, and ended up on TMZ,that’s why.

He was for it, before he was against it, and by "it", I mean the mullet.

How long did Hannah Montana’s buzz last? Well, if studies by San Diego State are to be believed, eight whole minutes. Side effects: Issues with coordination and speech. Yeah, this is the greatest threat to humanity since Phish concerts.

It’s the next heroin, people. Start the presses.

The extra press doesn’t hurt the effort. Now, we can add another substance to our country’s failed war on drugs which will insure that more people try the stuff. Never mind that it is non-addictive, and generally has no ill effects on those who use it. Its main danger seems to be the linkage it has with occult and new age ceremonies, and the alteration of perception. Basically, pagans and general practitioners of shamanism will find their ceremonial herb options shrinking.

This infringes on their rights to astrally project themselves, time travel, and take a bath on alternate Thursdays. I humbly petition Congress, for the greater good of society, that they let the shamans wash.

Aren’t You A Bit Flippant…

No, I’m trying to be upbeat. Otherwise, it is all too depressing. Americans are not looking at the big picture…and sadly, are caught up in false Right/Left paradigm.

The issue here are the rights of the many, and the cynical way in which our emotions are being manipulated. The sad thing is, it will eventually work.  Freedoms will be eroded, and at the end of the day, we’ll be living in a tragedy of our own making, that isn’t restricted to a parking lot in Arizona.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Signing off…

Glenn Beck.

The name in and of itself polarizes. HuffPo readers hate him, Daily Show writers mock him, and most of the red states wish he would run for political office.

On the left, many have accused him of flip-flopping, fake crying, and general demagoguery. On the right, he is considered the male version of Sarah Palin: A god-fearing, plainspoken, defender of truth and righteousness, in all its forms.

Of late, he has been making live appearances under the banner of “American Revival”. If one didn’t know any better, one might mistake it for a real revival. After all, this meeting has all the the trappings of an outdoor evangelistic crusade: Throngs of people, music, and an impassioned call to return to God(whatever your conception of the Almighty might be.).  Look behind him. There, in all it’s auspicious glory is the armor of God, detailed in a lovely, chalk-on-blackboard fresco:

Beck is speaking of personal suffering (He may lose his sight within the next year. This is sad, regardless of your opinions regarding Mr. Beck.) He makes an impassioned plea for God to return to public life.

Unfortunately, it’s a form of godliness without any power. It also comes draped in the American flag. Beck’s “gospel” doesn’t save. Rather, it advocates the salvation and moral cleansing of a nation, and a return to the God and values that made this country great. I cannot disagree with the need for National repentance. Glenn does a massively wonderful job of muddying the water when it comes to whom repentance is due, and why.

If his cries sound “Christian”, it’s because Mr. Beck is an adherent of Mormonism, and an ex-Catholic. When he speaks of accepting the atonement (whose atonement, how it was accomplished, and what it was for is never mentioned), he’s speaking of the LDS position on atonement.

One of the Mormon positions on atonement is that Jesus’ sacrifice couldn’t quite cut it:

“One of the most fallacious doctrines originated by Satan and propounded by man is that man is saved alone by the grace of God; that belief in Jesus Christ alone is all that is needed for salvation,” (Miracle of Forgiveness, by Spencer W. Kimball, p. 206).

Jesus’ sacrifice was not able to cleanse us from all our sins, (murder and repeated adultery are exceptions), (Journal of Discourses, vol. 3, 1856, p. 247)  -source: CARM

Mormonism definitely preaches a different Jesus than the one I know, through those teachings alone. If that wasn’t enough, then Glenn has his own version of what hell is, as well.

Hell is not a lake of burning fire. Nope. It’s the feeling of not being able to look God in the eye, because somehow, you have wronged him.

Unsurprisingly, Mr. Beck is not at all out of step with the teachings of the Mormon church in this regard.

“Humanity will be grouped according to their works in three main divisions: Celestial (like the sun), Telestial (like the moon), Terrestrial (like the earth). Within each group there will be many gradations and divisions, until from the lowest to the highest in all groups there will be a series of gradually ascending glories. There can be no talk of a hell, except for the few ‘sons of Perdition,’ but undoubtedly the regret for lost opportunities will be keen among those in the lower degrees of glory.” (Program of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, p. 226) – source: Mormonism Research Ministry

So, essentially, there are a very few that will actually be appointed a “hell”, rather, most of humanity will experience a lesser glory in eternity. Beck’s ideas are not inconsistent with this doctrine.

American Exceptionalism

To understand Beck’s “American Revival”, and why this is so important, you have to understand some basic Mormon doctrine. Many cults and/or heretical teachings have been born around the need for America to be “found” somewhere in the Bible.

While some have rightly noted this nation’s parallels with Egypt, Babylon, Sodom, and Gomorrah…others say we are the descendants of the scattered tribes of Israel – notably Herbert W. Armstrong, head of a cult known as the Worldwide Church of God, which later returned to orthodoxy as Grace Communion International-, or better yet, that God has made a new covenant with a another natural nation(as opposed to the spiritual nation that Christ created out of a covenant made available to all men-both Jew and Gentile-, through his death, burial and resurrection).

Mormonism posits that our Constitution, rather than an imperfect document, was divinely inspired, and by implication states that the Founders are the equivalent of the prophets and men that God chose to write the bible through:

According to the laws and constitution of the people, which I have suffered to be established, and should be maintained for the rights and protection of all flesh, according to just and holy principles;

That every man may act in doctrine and principle pertaining to futurity, according to the moral agency which I have given unto him, that every man may be accountable for his own sins in the day of judgment. Therefore, it is not right that any man should be in bondage one to another.

And for this purpose have I established the Constitution of this land, by the hands of wise men whom I raised up unto this very purpose, and redeemed the land by the shedding of blood (Doctrine and Covenants 101:77-80). source: Mormon Beliefs

Not only is our Constitution a God-breathed document, but America is evidently the biblical Zion. Yes, Jesus will rule from the center of Zion: Independence, MO and Jerusalem in His coming thousand year reign on the earth…

Again, I quote from the Mormon Beliefs website:

Mormons believe that Christ will come again to rule and reign over the earth for one thousand years of peace.  He will rule from two capitals: one in Jerusalem, the holy city; and one in Zion, which will be founded in America and which will also be a holy city.  Zion’s center will be at Independence, Missouri.

There are others who have made this claim about cities in the US, notably John Alexander Dowie, who one-upped Smith by actually calling his town Zion City, Illinois. Of the two bad ideas, I believe Dowie’s was better.

Unconscious Agreement

While some Christians would wholeheartedly denounce such teachings if presented with them in the context of Mormonism, their deeds and speech regularly agree with such heresy.

For many American Christians, an acknowledgment of God is proof enough that a person is saved.  In fact, you don’t even need that. You merely need subscribe to a Christian-ish world view. By their logic, all the commentators on Fox News are saved (other than Brit Hume, I find no evidence of this.)

Why else would I regularly hear them agreeing with Mr. Beck? He uses Christian terminology, speaks of Moses, the children of Israel, and talks about a need to return to God…what more do we need to know?

Well, for starters, there’s the issue of sin. Our national sins, according to the many “sermons” I have heard Mr. Beck preach, are those of being unfaithful to the Constitution.

We have not so much disobeyed God, as turned from the Founding Father’s original intents in our interpretation of the Constitution. We have let the Marxists, and the liberals take over government. People actually watch MSNBC. Out with that false prophet, Keith Olbermann!!!

Too often, in Christianity, we assume something the Bible does not teach: The enemy of my enemy is my friend. To paraphrase Churchill: “If Obama invaded hell, we would at least make a favorable mention of the Devil in the House and Senate.”

The Bible does teach in the words of Jesus, that:

He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad. Matthew 12:30, KJV

We need not forget that Joseph Smith and Muhammad are equal enemies of the Cross: Both declare that Jesus is not capable of redeeming mankind. Both have founders who received extra-biblical revelations that supposedly supersede the Bible itself.

According to Paul, we are condemn any other gospel, whether it comes to us wearing a hijab and carrying a sword, via a white guy on a bike, or a nice fellow with a chalkboard on Fox News.

As my father always used to say (and it is not exclusive to him), “Just because it is a good thing, does not mean that it is a God thing.”  Glenn Beck has done much to warn people about the wicked things going on in America, corruption in government, etc. For that I applaud him.

However, consciously or unwittingly, he has preached “another gospel”, where national salvation occupies the same pedestal as personal salvation. Americans need Jesus, not some vague entity referred to as The Great Spirit, The Lord, Providence, the Almighty, and/or God. They need the Jesus of biblical Christianity, not some undefinable, out there being with no more plausibility than the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Apart from the shedding of Jesus’ blood, there is no remission of sins, personal or otherwise-One drop is more than enough to atone for all sin, and cleanse all who believe on Him for salvation, despite the stand taken by the LDS:

11But Christ being come an high priest of good things to come, by a greater and more perfect tabernacle, not made with hands, that is to say, not of this building; 12 Neither by the blood of goats and calves, but by his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us. 13 For if the blood of bulls and of goats, and the ashes of an heifer sprinkling the unclean, sanctifies to the purifying of the flesh: 14 How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?

Hebrews 9:11-14